Firstly,
this post is no different from a regular-South-Indian-Tamil-Iyer wedding blog
post. This is just an honest attempt of documenting our whole wedding
experience, to show to our kids in the future. Now I might sound like an alarm
bell, but our generation is at a risk of losing our rich cultural heritage and
traditions (Not to mention the future generation!).
Thanks
to my parents and the way I was brought-up (in spite of the little sacrifices
made here and there when it came to aacharam & madi, as my mom is a
working woman), I always wanted to sit on my dad’s lap, wear the Madisar, the
whole Traditional Kemp set with Suryan-Chandran Pirai, Jimiki, Vangi, Bullaku etc.,
and get the Knot tied. And all credits to my In-Laws, they never stood in my
way and were very supportive. Both our families had almost the same traditions,
except for the very slight variations.
So
our parents decided the dates and venue. We always wanted our wedding to be a
fusion of modern and traditional elements. Since Arvind and me were in Singapore, going
back and forth to India was not an option, we decided that our families back at
home would plan the traditional part while we take care of the modern stuff. It
all begun with a wedding book in which we had every little detail written down.
The
Wedding Website:
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Our Wedding
website was something that kick-started our wedding activities. It was also a
special experience, being the first activity that got Arvind and me sitting
together – dreaming, planning and having fun. This had two motives. First, we
had many friends and relatives outside India and scanning the invite and
sending mail seemed old and inappropriate. Second, it was difficult to
tell/brag our three year wonderful love story of how we met and who proposed
(!). Below is the link for those who would like to look at our exciting
journey.
Pre/Post
Wedding Photo-shoot:
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I am always
known to be a photo-maniac. Wedding was not an exception. After an extensive
research for over a year, we finally zeroed in on a team of professional
wedding photographers. Though it was expensive, it was quite an experience
worth every penny. This was when I realized, Arvind could pose so well,
sometimes even better than me. So finally after 3 days of posing over 3000
amazing photos, we got many admirers, few annoyed, many jealous friends. At the
end of the day, it was one awesome experience.
The
Wedding Shopping:
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The shopping
experience was a very well planned and executed mission. I had a rehearsal for
the wedding shopping itself and explored all the options. I knew exactly what
to get, when to get and where to get. So we made a shopping plan, printed the
time-table and gave everyone a copy. So it was a cakewalk with lots of laughter,
food & bonding together as a family. It took half a day for Arvind’s
purchase and the rest of the days covering mine, roaming around the streets of
Chennai, not minding the hot weather.
Pre-Wedding
Ceremony- Bride:
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Panda
kaal, Viratham, Sumangali Prarthanai, Naandi:
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So I arrived at
Trichy, 5 days before wedding and it was like a festival with all the relatives
at home. The Tamil- Brahmin wedding incorporates a number of pre-wedding
rituals. So I had all the pre-wedding ceremonies including Panda Kaal,
Viratham, Sumangali Prarthanai, Naandi.
All the
pre-wedding ceremonies came to an end and we started to the mandabam with
a bang. Leaving home that time was very emotional for
me as I finally got hold of the fact that when I return to my home, I won’t be
that child-the nagging little girl who kept my parents on their toes for the
silliest things possible anymore, but a married woman.
Pre-Wedding Ceremony-
Groom:
-------------------------------------------
Arvind arrived at his home @ Chennai, 3 days
prior to wedding. Arvind also had the same set of pre-wedding rituals, in
addition, he also had a poonal ceremony.
Poonal: From being a
boy to becoming a man. (Still Arvind asks me “Do I look like a boy” ?!!! all
the time). A sacred thread is worn and Gayathri mantra is pronounced. No
thread, No wife. This thread is the passport for the marriage.
The Engagement/
Nichyadartham:
--------------------------------------------
So
after welcoming Arvind’s family, we all got ready for the ceremony. We never
had a formal engagement prior to the wedding. The day before the wedding was
our so-called engagement ceremony. Rather than being a formal function it was
more of a dressed rehearsal for me, with all the long-fake hair, the heavy
sarees, the make-up and Arvind wearing kurta and long-pointed shoes for the
first time. It was all about blushing and posing for photos. Of course the
Lagna pathrikai was read!
There was no Jaanavaasam, as Arvind is a shy boy ! :P
Below is the 2-minute video of our Varaverpu (Groom Bride
Welcome Ceremony).
The Wedding:
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Mangala Snanam, The
Kasi Yatrai, The Maalai Mathal, The Oonjal, The Kanyadaanam, The Muhurtham, The
Saptapadi:
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The engagement
was over and we never really slept that night with all the excitement and
everyone running here and there. We had an early morning Muhurtham. So after
the Mangala snanam, we bathed around 4 Am. Arvind went for his Kasi Yatrai
(with Arvind running away and my father pleading to come back and marry me-
Yeah right :P !). We then had the exchange of garlands and Oonjal, where we
were over fed with milk and bananas & ladoos flying over our heads and
hitting the bald heads around with the kids & cousins singing “kodhai
maalai matthinal”.
A 3 minute video of our Mangala snanam is below!
After the
kanyadanam, with lots of happy tears witnessing around, Arvind tied the knot at
last and we became THE MR & MRS.
After the
Metti function and the marriage registration, everybody finally left us alone
for lunch, we really never cared about food then. Then came the sudden rush of
posing creatively. We posed with Autos, Nadhaswarams, creating a lot of drama
in the venue.
Post-Wedding Ceremony:
--------------------------------
The Nagavalli:
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This is a
Tamil-Telegu Fusion wedding. Normal weddings would have ended in around 2-3
hours. But ours was an 8-hour ceremony. This was the final fire ceremony with
lots of decorated colourful pots around us. And Arvind tied the knot again. This
was the first time I ever spoke in Telegu.
The Grahapravesam &
The Nalangu:
------------------------------------------------
Finally our
parents showed us some food. So after all the chaos with no food for almost 9
hours and all the fire around was over, I finally thought, I could get some
time alone with Arvind, my husband. But once the lunch was over, our families
dragged us apart back to our separate rooms. After a few hours of good rest and
head massage (thanks to my cousins!) we got dressed again, finished the Grahapravesam
and then started the Nalangu. We were so nervous, embarrassed, felt awkward and
blushed. They made us do all the funny stuff including rolling coconuts,
breaking appalams, made us sing, dance, and made us really really tired.
Our Nalangu ritual-An 8 minute video below !
The Reception:
-------------------
We - The newlywed couple finally arrived at
Arvind’s place @ Chennai. The Reception was a grand affair held at Green Park -
One of the most beautiful locations in Chennai. I wore a Red Designer Saree
with my wedding Louboutins. The saree is as heavy as it looks (At least 4
Kgs!). Arvind was all suited up in a White Attire. We had the backdrops, the
garlands, the venue, designed to match our clothes.
Thank heavens, no ceremonies @ Reception. Just all the
friends & relatives with great food, fun, snow sprays, cakes, kids and
laughter.
Then came the
real exciting part- Opening all the gifts! The first session was opening the
wedding gifts @ my home, in Trichy and the second session was @ Arvind’s place,
in Chennai. We chose the real good ones and took back to our home @Sg.
The Wedding Teaser:
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When a friend
looking at our photos, cracked a joke on why we wouldn’t have a trailer for our
wedding movie. Well! We decided why we shouldn’t and thus came the Wedding
Teaser.
The Wedding Film:
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In seven
minutes and twenty seconds – were captured all of the rhythm, warmth, love,
tears, joy, happiness, nervousness, energy, excitement, embraces, expressions-
and truly told the story of Preethi
& Arvind. Filtered through hours and hours of footage, edited it perfectly
to the catchy tune- presenting our wedding film.
The Bridal Wedding Gown
& The Suite: The First Anniversary Present:
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It was my
childhood fantasy to wear the white-bridal wedding gown. So that came as a
surprise first anniversary present from my darling husband. Before getting all
the tan@ the amazing beaches of Bali, we went for the photo-shoot at many stunning locations @ SG.
Along with the photo-shoot package came the additional gift of a diamond couple
wedding rings.
Stepping into the 6th
year:
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Three years in love and two lovely years after
the wedding-Several thousand kilometres of travels- 8 countries visited – One awesome
pet Jaangri- Hundreds of gifts- Hundreds of fights- Hundreds of make ups-Exploring
Cuisines- Experimenting culinary at home- Hundreds of movies- Several hundred
hours of roaming-Shopping- Thousands of lovely moments.
Thus ended our splendid wedding experience which will remain in our hearts forever.
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The Ceremonies of a
Traditional Brahmin Wedding:
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Listed here are
the major ceremonies with brief explanation of a Tamil-Brahmin Wedding,
excluding the other small ritual details.
Disclaimer: Few
explanations are not in my words.
Source: Internet
Pre-Wedding Ceremonies:
------------------------------------
Panda kaal:This is done to ensure that the wedding
preparations proceed without any hassle.
(1) Viratham: Fasting is performed by the bride,
groom, both the families, and vedic hymns are chanted by the vaadiyar in front
of the fire. This ritual is performed to invoke the blessings of the ancestors
and the almighty.
(2) Sumangali Prarthanai: We had all the
married ladies at my home to bless me with a happy married life. Not to mention
the awesome food!
(3) Naandi: Naandi was
conducted to honor the Pithrus (ancestors) and seek their blessings for a long
and prosperous life. The ceremony is conducted by Brahmins, who are presented
with gifts and sweets. Families seek the blessings of their ancestors, to
ensure that the wedding is carried on smoothly.
(4) Poonal: From being a boy to becoming a man. A sacred thread is worn
and Gayathri mantra is pronounced. No thread, No wife. This thread is the
passport for the marriage.
(5) Maaplai Azhaipu/Jaanavasam: The Groom’s family is greeted and welcomed warmly by the
Bride’s parents and offerings are made.
(6) The Nichyadartham/ The
Engagement: The Lagna Pathrikai is read by the vaadiyar,
announcing the details related to marriage, including the muhurtham and the
venue. This is followed by aarti and mouth-watering lavish dinner.
The Wedding-day
Ceremonies:
-------------------------------------------
(7) Mangala Snanam: On the dawn of the wedding day, after applying oil in the
hair and kungumam in the forehead, the bride and the groom take the holy bath
and get ready for the wedding.
(8) Kasi Yatrai: The groom pretends that he leaves for kasi, not interested
in taking responsibilities for house hold. He is stopped by the bride’s father
and persuades him to marry his daughter.
(9) The Maalai Mathal &
The Oonjal: After the groom enters the pandal, he exchanges
garlands for three times with the bride. This ceremony is full of fun and
frolic. Thereafter, they are seated together on a swing. Married women give the
newlyweds spoonful of milk and banana pieces to eat.
(10) The
Kanyadanam & The Muhurtham: The groom is
considered as god. The bride’s father washes his feet, mother puts kajal in his
eyes, brother wears the garland. The bride is given a nine yard saree. The
sister-in-laws and aunts help her to tie the saree and the bride is asked to
sit on her father’s lap and the groom ties two knots of a sacred yellow thread. The third knot is tied by the
groom's sister. The three knots symbolize the union of the mind, spirit and
body.
(11) Saptapadi : The bridegroom takes his wife's right hand in his left hand
and leads her around the holy fire for seven times. In every round, she touches
her feet to the grindstone hoping that their union will be firm forever.
Post-Wedding Ceremonies:
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(12) Sammandhi Mariyathai: The families of the newly wed couple exchange
gifts and clothes, to mark the culmination of the wedding.
(13) Laaja Homam &
Paaladaanam: The bride's
brother offers popped rice to the groom, which he offers to the holy fire. By
doing this, the couple seeks the blessings of Agni that represents the divine
power and light of God.
As a part of Paaladaanam custom, the couple
seeks the blessings of the elderly members of the family by touching their
feet.
(14) Grihapravesham: After the completion of wedding ceremony, the
bride is taken to her husband's house. Aarti is performed to welcome the newly
married couple, as they stand at the doorstep to enter the home. Thereafter, a
lavish feast is served at the wedding venue.
(15) Nalangu: The evening of the marriage day is the time to relax and play. The
newly wed wife calls her husband for play, inviting him through a song,
followed by a series of playful games. The bride anointing the groom’s feet with
colour paste, fanning him, showing him a mirror, breaking papads over each
other’s head, wrenching the betel pack from each other’s hands, rolling the
coconut from one to another as in playing ball and so on. During these events the
women sing songs, making fun of the bride and the groom.
Paal, Pazham is given and aarti is taken on all occasions whenever the
couple enters any venue together.
